him.
its been a very long time since i’ve felt this way.
it has always been so certain and so confident,
i had always been so sure of it all.
sometimes i wonder if i had made him act this way, had i been too selfish and had taken his sweet notions for granted?
i guess i can never know. all i know is i love him and he loves me, but has it lessen or increased over the last 2 awesome years.
i had thought he was the perfect one for me.
i still think he is the perfect one, like a missing piece of my heart.
like no one in the world could ever replace how much he weighs in my heart, like no one can ever replace the memories and the laughter we’ve had.
or maybe i just think too much.
maybe it’s that time of the month.
life is such a funny thing, it’s full of maybes and possibilities.
i wish i could install a camera in his heart and sees everything he feels.
words
so when people are in love, they say things like
“i’ve always loved you, i will always love you”
“you’re the best thing in the world”
“you’ll always be my baby”
“you’re the one”
but what happens to those promises when one relationship ends?
where do they go…
i guess they belong to a memory of that moment in the past,
locked away somewhere deep in your heart.
but how does one bring himself/herself say it to the next person?
“you’re my baby”
“you’re the only one i’ll ever love”
“you’re my true love”
but what gives such confidence that such promises will last in THIS relationship,
in this present time.
i guess when it ends, such empty words turns into dust.
**
but life’s just full of chapters,
i hope this one never ends :)
stub
i guess…some people are too damn stubborn in life to apologize.
maybe i should stop letting people step on.
maybe, its me.
but. fuck that. lifes too good.
dadadadummm.
:) i love the way you miss me, love me.
i love the way you call me, text me.
best of all,
i love that i know i can always trust you, fall on you.
*
contentment, is basically what i am trying to say.
2011 coming to an end.
2011 holiday’s been great :)
except that bebs had to go back to bru for work experience, which is a great stepping stone for his career. but …. yeah.
been catching up with some friends from the past, meeting more in the days to come.
can’t wait to be home next sunday. this is would be such a great break back home, time for family and old friends.
i miss the days when we were in kuala lumpur, high school was bliss, so easy, and i had thought it’d last forever. at the time it did….sillyness.
*
it’s finally the last month of 2011. let this christmas and new years to be memorable!
can’t wait for my trips to see my loved ones.
this summer break would be the best yet!
i am really feeling like shit.
PERIOD JUST COME ALREADY. stop mind fucking my body and my feelings.
tired but happy.
ecstatic. going to london to see the best friends!!! :) thankoooo daddyy :)
of course, going back to a place i love to call home first :)
kuala lumpurrrrrrr! in less than a month’s time i would be home and enjoying every bit of it!
been working shit loads now trying to save up as much as possible so i can splurge while i am there :)
exhaustion. but. there’s always him.
remember the time when everything was as easy as abc? what happened to that?
-life, i believe.
we're all forced to look at this space as something difficult, something bitter - but really,
it could have all been cupcakes and rainbows if you looked closely.
