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like.likes. love?

i wish time would just stay still when i am with you,

but i know that’s not possible, no one could freeze time.

every time we bid goodnight, it feels so empty…i feel like a part of me is leaving me.

but then i guess there’s always good byes. no matter how unwillingly i am.

i hate it that your friends despise me.

i hate it that we have to act like strangers when we are in a crowd.

im tired of hiding and avoiding and keeping mum when your friends call you.

im so tired.

but i did hurt you first and i guess it takes more than this to win your trust back.

i know your history.

but i hope i wouldn’t have to wait too long. because i miss you,

and i can’t help myself but to fall for you deeper and deeper.

i hope you feel to same. i really do.

but i promised myself that i won’t be letting myself relive last year,

2009 has been a bad year for myself and i promise not to let 2010 be a repeat.

i don’t want to look back 10 years later in regrets. there’s no way.

i have strong determination in making this a better year, a better life.

and as much as i like you now,

as much as i think about you and miss you even though we are only approximately 25minutes away, i am not going to let this ruin me.

i am not going to let it happen.

because i refuse and i have strong determination!

i believe anyone who puts their mind into anything, anything is possible.

i know it’ll be a while before you’d hold my hand in public,

i know it’ll take a long time for your friends to accept me.

i know, i think about such things until i can’t think no more because it simply hurts.

but i understand what circumstance you are in.

if one day, which i can feel it in my bones that in the very near future,

i will throw one of my silly little tantrums and say things i don’t mean,

which i will end up regretting and taking back.

i hope by then, you would understand that it was my last straw,

no girl can stand such test.